极品笑话网

English:
This guy es to a grocery store and asks the clerk behind the counter for two cans of dog food.
Do you have a dog? asked the clerk. Yes, I do! replied the puzzled customer. I''m sorry sir said the clerk but you''re ing to have to prove to me that you have a dog before I can sell you dog food.
Back home went the frustrated customer to get his dog and pulled it on it''s leash all the way back to the store. Here''s my dog! wheezed the tired customer. Thank you sir, here is your two cans of dog food.
Two days later the guy returns to the same store and es up to the same clerk and says: Two cans of cat food please. Do you have a cat sir? Of course I do! said the exasperated customer. I''m sorry sir but I have to see your cat before I can sell you cat food.
The guy storms out of the store, es home, grabs his cat, drags it back to the store and holds up the cat by it''s tail for the clerk to see. Thank you sir here is your two cans of cat food.
The very next day. The guy returns to the store, approaches the clerk and places on the counter a white shoe box with a small hole on the cover. Yes sir, asked the clerk, what can I do for you? Put your finger in the hole ordered the customer. I beg your pardon? said the clerk Do as I say! ordered the guy. Cautiously the clerk slid his finger all the way in the hole. Pull it out and tell me what it looks like! said the guy. It looks like crap! said the disgusted clerk; to which the customer replied: THAT''S RIGHT !!, Now give me two rolls of toilet paper!

中文：
一个人来到一家杂货铺向柜台后面的店员买两听狗食。
“您有狗吗？”店员问。
“是的，我有！”迷惑的顾客回答。
“对不起，先生，您必须要向我证明您有一条狗，然后我才能把狗食卖给您。”
这个受挫的顾客回到家里把狗套到皮带上一路牵着回到杂货铺。“这是我的狗！”疲惫的顾客气喘吁吁地说。
“谢谢您，这是您的两听狗食。”
两天后这个人又回到同一家商店，走近同一个店员说，“来两听猫食。”
“您有猫吗？”
“当然有！”愤怒的顾客说。
“对不起先生，但是我必须看到您的猫，才能卖给您猫食。”
这个人狂怒着走出商店，回到家，抓住猫，拽着它回到了商店，拎着猫的尾巴让店员看。
“谢谢你，这里是你的两听猫食。”
就在第二天，这个人又回到了商店，走近那个店员，把一个白鞋盒子放到了柜台上，盒子盖上有一个小孔。
“您要什么？”店员问。
“把你的手指放进孔里，”顾客要求。
“什么？”，店员问。
“照我说的做，”这个人命令道。店员小心地把手指滑进孔里。
“拿出来，告诉我它象什么！”
“象是屎！”店员恶心地说道。
顾客回答：“这就对了！！现在给我两卷卫生纸！”